🍃 Thoughts from an impossibly long January 🍃
The start to this year has been intense to say the least, both in public and behind closed doors, and I find myself craving a level of rest and presence that never feels fully available to me under the conditions of modernity. Either way, I fight to move through those feelings and to build the most authentic life for myself that I can. I feel myself having to push through discomfort in ways that I haven’t had to in a very long time. I’m coming up against new growth edges, and trying to find joy and gratitude along the way.
< A January Gallery of Tiny Pleasures >
I started the year off in NYC, having left LA mere hours before it went up in flames. Having been stuck in crisis zones before, I know what it does to the nervous system. Directly or indirectly, I felt/feel its impacts, and experienced the shoe on the other foot of worrying about my loved ones from afar while feeling completely out of control.
Now that I’m back, I’m adjusting to the new realities of this city, which has new wounds and new expectations. As my beloved said to me recently—it’s times like those that we are being asked to dig deeper.
So as I dig deeper now into the very wells of my spirit, I notice—much like the shedding of snakeskin, and we are in the year of the snake—signs of transformation. The end of the year felt like a profound letting go, and now at the bottom of my own well, I can feel my spirit attempting to re-assemble itself into new forms. I am a creature who shape shifts often, so while it’s not a new feeling it’s still uncomfortable.
The symbol of a phoenix has been popping up frequently, asking me to go deeper into its symbolism—both the obvious and subtle aspects.
We often think of phoenix’s as a symbol of hope and strength and power. Somehow they manage to rebuild themselves from the ash, and become more magical, more beautiful, more vibrant than before. Now that I feel myself in the process of phoenixing, and of digging deeper, I’m aware of another aspect of the phoenix that is probably overlooked. It’s a bravery, a commitment, and courage to imagine something beautiful into reality after devastating loss.
We watch the Phoenix die and be reborn, and often see only its beauty, but now I’m thinking more and more of the vulnerability it takes to let yourself be done and undone by life again and again. How easy could it have been for phoenix to simply submit to becoming eternal ash, exhausted by the work of constant reparation and destruction? Instead, phoenix dares to believe that on the other side of what has been lost is *always* the possibility of something new and more magnificent than before.
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The metaphor of this now feels obvious, considering the grief many are facing in my home city of Los Angeles. Even in this grief, I’ve been so moved by witnessing community come together to support one another through the unimaginable.
I hope that the way angelenos have shown up will be used as an example nation-wide for what our worlds *can* look like, when we lovingly devote ourselves to one another and to genuine care practices.
Folks always say that no regime, government, or evil force can be stronger than the people undivided. I feel that truth in my cells these days, and hope that I can rebuild the structure of my own body to be even more of service than I have in the past. We deserve to live well, and it takes digging deep to remember that when things are difficult.
Thank you for your patience as I refine my own practice and re-imagine what my offering spaces will look like this year. For now, I’ll be moving my free Substack posts to every other month (odd months), and my Loose Leaf Tea videos will be an exclusive offer for my paid subscribers in the even months. I will continue to post snippets for the public, but encourage you to become a paid subscriber.
My hope is that eventually we will have better infrastructure to officially divest from platforms like IG/Tik-Tok/X that keep is bound to shit we don’t even believe in. May we continue to dig deep and lean into change, and keep our imaginations awake and alive *especially* in the face of what is dangerous.
I’m also excited to announce that Honey & Smoke will be re-emerging soon, follow us on IG for more updates soon.
In the meantime, love + honey to you all 💗🌻✨
Reva
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